A key part of living a happy and fulfilling life is to always be 100% truthful about who you are and what you want/need out of life. There is no right or wrong (as long as you don’t recklessly hurt others)- everyone has different beliefs, morals, outlooks etc. The important thing is that you know who YOU are and are living your best life with no social masks. The consequence of not living in your truth is that you rob not only yourself of your own happiness, but you also rob everyone around you of their option to live their best life.
What do I mean by this? Well, imagine you are someone who really does not want to get married or have kids, but you feel like getting married and having kids is the “right” thing to do. You love your partner and don’t want to hurt them with the truth. You don’t want to deprive them of their happiness of getting married and having kids. Your parents probably expect you to settle down and pop out grandkids too. So you go along with it all because it is the socially acceptable thing to do.
Over the years you feel more and more trapped and become more and more unhappy. You resent your spouse, your kids, your job (which you feel you can’t leave now because you need to pay the bills) etc. To make yourself feel “better”, you might end up drinking, cheating, drifting further from your marriage and your kids…Guess what? What you initially thought was the best for your loved ones turned out to be even worse for them. You have robbed yourself of happiness (of living a carefree single life) and also robbed your spouse of making their best decision for themselves early on based on the facts and truth before them. Would it have hurt to have known the truth before getting married? Would it have been devastating to break up? Of course. The truth always hurts initially. But breaking up then would have been better than destroying their dream of having a happy marriage and family life much later on. You have robbed them of the option of finding someone else who wanted the same things in life from the start.
I want to say this is an extreme example but I don’t think it is. Maybe it is not marriage and kids you don’t want or are unhappy with, but something else. Maybe you are giving up other dreams because of your circumstances and what people around you expect. Maybe you are putting up with toxic people in your life because you are afraid of telling them the truth and offending them. Maybe you are hiding who you really are because of insecurity or past trauma. Whatever it is, if you are not truthful with even yourself about who you really are and what YOUR needs are and are not looking after yourself, you don’t just affect you but everyone else around you. If you are not at peace with yourself, you will never be happy with your marriage, your family, your job…your capacity to give and love will eventually run dry and everyone around you will suffer.
What is the best for you and the people you care about is that you are completely authentic and your best you. Maybe by being 110% you, you might lose some relationships, but you will also have a lot more meaningful connections with those who have stayed and other people you will meet. Never be afraid to be the person you are. Never be ashamed of your past. Don’t feel guilty for looking after yourself and chasing your own dreams. And always ALWAYS be honest with yourself and the people around you about what you’re feeling and thinking. Because if you are happy, fulfilled and living in truth, you will be fully present in life and able to give those around you your best.
Here are some questions to ask yourself (that I’m asking myself too):
- Are you being your authentic self? Who are you when no one is looking? How can you be that person to everyone without putting on any social masks?
- Do you like you? What can you do to work on yourself so you do?
- Do you not speak up/tell the truth more because you are afraid of people not liking you? Why does it matter? How can you work on liking yourself so you can stand firm on your own beliefs and opinions and not care what others think?
- What makes you happy? How can you do a little something for yourself each day?
- What are you doing to fulfill your needs?
- What are you doing to chase your dreams?