I was looking back at an old writing I did when my first daughter was 10 months old in which I wrote that motherhood never gets easier, it just gets different. Has my opinion changed 2.5 years on?
Miss A at 10 months old
To tell you the truth, it actually has. I think for me I initially struggled greatly with motherhood for at least the first 18 months. Yes, that is 1.5 years. Not 3 months, not 6 months, not 1 year. It was only around this point that I actually stopped feeling constant dread about motherhood. By then Miss A was talking, running around, and becoming a little less fussy…and I actually found myself starting to enjoy her.
She is now over 3 years old and I would say she is fairly easy to manage most days, so long she is not overtired or sick of course. If we didn’t have an infant, I would say life would actually be pretty breezy now. Miss A sleeps well through the night, she is fun to be around (most of the time), she is very intelligent, she is toilet trained, she is in kindergarten…So in a nutshell, yes, I have now learned motherhood does get easier. Sure each age group has its challenges but navigating them is a lot easier when they can actually talk, are done with teething and you’re not sleep deprived. No matter how tough the toddler stage can get, I still much prefer it to the infant stage…but I’m not sure if that’s also because I don’t seem to make easy babies. All this crying, fussing, fighting them to sleep, trying to guess what’s wrong with them, teething etc….it drives me mental!
Knowing that things do get better really helps me soldier on with the baby. Miss E has actually been very sick for the past week, with us even ending up taking her to hospital because she was just getting worse. On top of it all, I’ve gotten pretty sick myself and am not improving thanks to the sleep deprivation. But I keep telling myself this is the last time…
…the last time Miss E is ever going to be this sick (since the immune systems matures with age)
…the last time I have to deal with all these sleepless nights
…the last time I’m spending all day and night jiggling and bouncing trying to soothe a sick baby
…the last time I’m fighting a baby at the breast
…the last time I’m missing out on social events because I have a fussy baby
I know for a fact that one day this will all be a very distant memory as it already is with Miss A. Fast forward a year and I know life will be feeling pretty different. Miss E will be walking, starting to talk, and able to interact with her sister. I sure hope she will sleeping well by then and that unlike her sister, she will be a good eater.
So until then, I will soldier on…soldier on!