The last week has been full of ups and downs. I almost don’t feel like reporting anything because I think my posts are just getting depressing. It’s all the same. Just surviving, barely living…willing the days and weeks to pass faster and praying this phase will be over soon. I really wish I was still living in the city so I could walk to shops or cafes and visit friends and have them visit us. It’s so isolating being so far out. I think if I could see friends more often, I wouldn’t feel so sick because being around them makes me happy and distracts me from the negative feelings.
I honestly wished I had been more proactive earlier on in preventing myself from getting so depressed. I really should have tried to have a happier first trimester. My Mum is now here and I wished I had begged her to come earlier because it does help so much just to have someone around the house with me during the day. She’s just here for a short while but after she leaves, I will have a couple weeks with V before he starts another job so it’s all good. I’m hoping by then, I will be feeling better already.
V and I are now determined to do everything we can to move back when the baby is born. Sounds a bit strange because while other people are buying the three-bedroom house in the suburbs, we’re like “give us a one-bedroom apartment in the city!”. Just being back in the city is all that matters. Doesn’t matter if we’re living squishy because we know our quality of life will be so much better there. It means that we’ll just have to work a bit harder to afford rent, but we’ll definitely be so much happier. I never want to repeat these feelings again…when V starts Uni next year and I have a newborn- I definitely want to be close to my friends! And when we have the second one- my Mum is definitely coming down early!
V has started talking to the baby through my belly and it’s strange how good it feels! It definitely makes me feel more loving and connected to the baby. Initially I didn’t really like the idea of people touching my belly…but now I’ve decided EVERYONE should start touching it and talking to it! Lol! Even if the baby can’t hear sounds yet…I believe this all sends good energy and vibrations to it 🙂